Sunday, September 04, 2005

Setting the record straight

It has come to my attention that since I did not blame George Bush for the tragedy that is Katrina's rescue effort, I am a "spewing partisan rhetorical mis-information." Since I am not a Republican this is really disturbing to me. So in an effort to distance myself from the Bush administration I will use this post to point out some obvious truths about the man, George Bush:

George Bush actually caused hurricane Katrina. Well, not so much caused it but at least empowered it by planting underwater heaters beneath the Gulf of Mexico to make sure any hurricane that was there would definitely become a cat5 storm that would hit New Orleans.

Why would George Bush be against New Orleans?

Obviously because New Orleans voted 77% for Kerry. For sure he'd be mad at them and want to spite them. He could have, for instance, NOT put billions of dollars into the war with Iraq, and instead built a super flood protection center for the poor. Then they would be safe. But no, because George Bush hates poor people and everyone knows that poor people vote for Democrats. So Bush had to destroy them.

He's also a dirty capitalist who supports businesses who are in the business of greenhouse gas production. Because only greedy corporations create greenhouse gasses. Certainly not volcanoes or even super rich liberal movie stars and greedy musicians like the Bono who only use giant SUV's and planes with ozone friendly exhausts.

On second thought I probably shouldn't blame the underwater heaters on Bush because I read somewhere that was Karl Rove's idea. Of course Karl is Bush's right hand man so he's probably just as guilty. Hmmmm.

It's just too bad John Kerry isn't president because there is just no way he would have let the hurricane happen, let alone destroy New Orleans. Because Jon Kerry loves the black people!

Also, thanks to a tip from my ultra-liberal (and therefore intelligent) Mother, I now have information that proves that George Bush assassinated William Rehnquist so that he could appoint one of his own evil neo-con judges of doom! OF DOOM I TELL YOU!

Now to complete my anti-republican post I will post the mandatory liberal pictures of George Bush.



HE HAS THE BLOOD OF INNOCENT PEOPLES ON HIM!


HE'S A NAZI BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN THINGS LIKE NATIONAL SOCIALISM AND BANNING GUNS!


LOOK AT THE THAT TERRIBLE MUSTACHE! LOOK AT IT, IT'S HIDEOUS!


SEE, HE'S A TERRORIST, BUT HE'S FIGHTING A WAR AGAINST TERROR! DON'T YOU SEE THE IRONY? DON'T YOU SEE IT?


JUST LOOK AT HIM, DO THOSE LOOK LIKE PRESIDENTIAL EARS TO YOU? I THINK NOT!

IMPEACH HIM NOW!

10 comments:

Johnny Lemuria said...

Well, I'm glad SOMEONE knows the truth :)

Anonymous said...

Please, please stop telling people this. I still have another two weeks of vacation this year (by my count), and if your irresponsible words bring more of those darned protesters down while I'm clearing that nasty brush, well, I'm gonna' have to go all executive order on ya'!

Sincerely,

Your buddy George

PresentStorm said...

LMAO that was funny stuff .....

Jackie R. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Emperor Joe said...

LOL. I think people should quit being so damn political and start helping. I do think the gov dropped the ball but hey no one is perfect.

Don Keehotey said...

Given your political point of view you may enjoy my satirical website: http://www.shamelesspublicity.com
I just put a piece on there which claims that Dennis Hastert wants all of New Orleans bulldozed, except for the donut shops, of course...

Gindy said...

That first picture kills me. Is that one real?

Scott said...

I don't think so. I don't even remember where I got it but if you do an image search for George Bush you'll find it pretty quick.

Gindy said...

I was just curious.

Shannon said...

Wow. I just thought Bush was stupid, and that's why the rescue efforts went to hell.

But now that you've shown me that he actually caused the hurricane...well, I guess that just paints a whole other picture here. Damn bitch, toying with nature to get even with people who didn't vote for him....

;)